Scott's Pirated Rant

So, every month or so I get a Stupid Rock Newsletter with the inclusion of this Murison character going on about things he would like to see improve is this world of ours. The problem is that at the core of most of these issues is lazy, inconsiderate, foul-minded people...like me!
 
You know the type of person I'm talking about: the guy that drives his Ford 250...DIESEL to corner store for a loaf of Wonder Bread, but taking a detour to the McDonalds just so that he has some trash to throw into the parking lot of the corner store. Or the guy who pees all over the toilet seat for sport. Oh yeah, don't forget about the guy who stands right outside the front door of the restaurant you are walking into that blows smoke in your face because he's not allowed to smoke inside.

Ya, you know the guy I'm talking about. Well I'm here to say to all you DO-GOODERS out there that you wouldn't be where you are right now without guys like me! You wouldn't be able to feel good about yourself at all; you'd just be lost in a land of niceness with nothing to complain about. You know...raising money for charity, cleaning up Jackson Park, holding the door for someone...all of that stuff wouldn't mean anything if it wasn't for guys like me.

So the next time somebody cusses at you for getting in their way while they're riding their bike down the sidewalk at 20 km/hr, or chucks their ½ full double double Horton onto your front lawn, I want you to say "thanks." "Thanks soooo much for making me a better person."

That goes double for you Murison!

Scott Wood
Old Codger